Celebrating Community - NVC Style

This weekend, Jeff Brown and I co-led two trainings on Compassionate Nonviolent Communication (NVC) at the First Divine Science Church in St. Louis, Missouri. We led an introduction to NVC Friday evening, and an intermediate session Saturday morning.


I feel happy and warm inside remembering both events, and reconnecting with some people in the St. Louis NVC community I hadn't seen for a while.

Following the training this morning, we gathered for a potluck lunch, followed by a St. Louis NVC community organizing meeting, attended by me and five others. At that meeting, the group did some brainstorming for a mission for St. Louis NVC, and also began to explore some strategies about how we'd like to contribute to more NVC in our area.

Over the three years I've been practicing and learning NVC, I've been struck by the quality of connection I have experienced with others at NVC workshops and trainings. In my experience, practicing this process supports people to shift into a state of connectedness that makes relating very sweet. I'm hopeful about joining with others locally in St. Louis who wish to be part of creating NVC community here.

If that is intriguing to you, I invite you to let me know and to join us in some way, such as an NVC community gathering, a training, or an organizational meeting!

In heart,
Rhonda

Celebrating a NVC Dance Floors Training

Last weekend I was in Columbus, Ohio participating in a Nonviolent Communication training, which included two tracks: Developing Fluency with NVC Dance Floors and Facilitating with NVC Dance Floors.

This training was led by Gina Lawrie of the U.K., co-founder of NVC Dance Floors, and my partner, Jeff Brown, NVC Trainer and U.S. Distributor of the NVC Dance Floors. I am thrilled and grateful to have the opportunity to contribute at this training as an assistant trainer, and to support Gina, Jeff, and the participants in the training. I learned so much! As I remember this workshop, I am also celebrating creativity and effectiveness in the design of the workshop which had two tracks which participants could move freely between in each session.

The NVC Dance Floors include NVC processes (created by the founder of NVC, Dr. Marshall Rosenberg). Each step of the process is on a card laid on the floor in a specific order. People 'dance' through the processes, moving their body to the card which is the step of the process they are on. There is not a specific beginning or ending place in the processes--the dancer simply goes to the step which represents their present internal state. To me, practicing NVC Dance floors is a way to engage more fully and wholly in the process of NVC, using visual, spatial, kinesthetic, and auditory forms of learning.

In NVC, we are working with consciousness. A major part of this work is for us to differentiate aspects of consciousness, so we can connect with ourselves in the fullest and most life-affirming way. I love bringing the work of NVC to the dance floors, because for me there is even more clarity in differentiating [the parts of consciousness and parts of each process] by moving the body to the card which represents what's going on inside. And, similar to the yogic practice of Vichara (more about that coming soon), this differentiation or taking apart leads to a "wholling"-- a coming together and rejoining of all the parts in a way that is healing and beautiful.

Can you tell I like this approach?

At this training, I had the opportunity to see and to support dancers (and people who were coaching dancers) through many processes. I am struck by the healing quality of empathic presence which to me is made so clear in NVC. I had many experiences in this training of seeing others coach and support dancers in their process where the air was 'thick' with the tangible, healing quality of empathy and love. And to see people 'blooming' as they received that empathic presence and love. Wow.

I am so moved by this work!

I am grateful to Tom Carlisi for hosting me, Jeff, and Gina, and so, so deeply appreciate his welcome, generosity, sense of fun, and dance ability! I also celebrate the warmth and depth of the Columbus NVC Community, including connections I made for the first time, and people I had the pleasure to get to know better. Thanks, too, to Tracy Wimberly and Andy Workum of Compassionate Communication of Central Ohio (www.nvcohio.org) for organizing and hosting the training, and contributing so much to the dynamic NVC Community in Ohio.

With love,

Rhonda

Hello,

I feel so happy and grateful for what I'm learning by practicing and teaching Nonviolent Compassionate Communication.

I've been playing ... and would like to share with you this "NVC Overview Page" -- including NVC assumptions, intention, and spiritual practice -- which I put together. This page has been inspired by my own exploration of NVC, influenced mostly by Robert Gonzales and Susan Skye, and also Myra Walden, Jeff Brown, Eckhart Tolle, and integrated with my learning of Rod Stryker's Para Yoga (which I've been studying since 2003.)

I'd enjoy hearing what comes alive in you reading this!

Warmly,
Rhonda


NVC Overview Page


Assumption:

There is a consciousness that is recognized in NVC which is sometimes called NVC Consciousness, Universal Consciousness, or in the Supreme Reality. Some aspects of this consciousness are:

· Interconnection: Human beings are interconnected to each other to Life. All human beings have the same feelings and needs.

· Compassion: When our needs are met, human beings are compassionate by nature. Contribution is one of the most powerful human needs.

· Abundance: there is unlimited creativity, resourcefulness, and compassion possible in human beings, and in life.

· Awareness and Power: Human beings are more powerful that we imagine. Research shows that most human beings only use about 2% of our brain capacity. By growing our Awareness and Intention to have “power with” relationships with others, we can transform our lives and this world so that we hold everyone’s needs with loving care.

Intention:

To move toward living in this Universal Consciousness in each moment. To do this by being connected to what’s alive in ourselves and others, and holding all needs with loving care. To this end, NVC has some tools available that apply to language, thought, and power.

Tools:

NVC provides a map (tools and processes) to help us live in Universal Consciousness. Remember, the map is not the destination (intention). One of the pitfalls of using these tools is getting so involved in them that you forgot your intention and get caught up in the mechanics.

Obstacles / Opportunities to Grow Awareness:

· Thinking that Disconnects - Some kinds of thinking separate us from this Universal Consciousness, limit our experience in life, and limit our connection with others. When we become aware we are separating ourselves from Life, we can choose to transform this thinking to bring ourselves back into alignment with the flow with Life.

· Mechanical use of NVC tools – Remember that using the map or tools of NVC is not the same as the Intention to be in Universal Consciousness. Using the tools is a way to fulfill the intention.

· Demand, expectation or attachment to a certain outcome. When this comes up, it is an opportunity to observe & see what consciousness (thoughts, beliefs) is stimulating it. NVC helps us embody a consciousness of acceptance and peace about what is alive, unattached to outcome. Beyond acceptance is .. Enjoyment ….Enthusiasm

· Scarcity Mindset – thinking that there is not enough of something, enough time, enough money, enough love. When this comes up, it is an opportunity to observe and see what consciousness (thoughts, beliefs) is stimulating it. NVC helps us embody a consciousness of Abundance.

Moment to moment practices:

· Connection with myself: Perceiving my own needs and values and how they are being met or not being met.

· Connection with others: Perceiving the other's needs and values and how they might be met or not met.

Created by Rhonda Mills

NVC in St. Louis, Missouri

To learn about what is going on in with Nonviolent Compassionate Communication in St. Louis, Missouri, visit www.stlouisnvc.org.

Would you like to be more involved in the NVC community locally? Join our St. Louis yahoo groups:

to discuss and practice NVC online locally, email to stlnvc-discussion-subscribe@yahoogroups.com, or click here.

to hear announcements about NVC workshops, classes, practice groups happening locally, email to stlnvc-announce-subscribe@yahoogroups.com, or click here.

What is Compassionate Nonviolent Communication (NVC)?

Nonviolent Communication (NVC)

awakens empathy and honesty
and is sometimes described as "Compassionate Communication,"
“the Language of the Heart,” or “the Yoga of Communication.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m not a violent person, so what can the NVC process offer me?

This is a common question when people read the term “Nonviolent Communication.”

The word "nonviolent" in Nonviolent Communication refers to the term as Gandhi used it when he spoke of the absence of violence in the human heart. In Nonviolent Communication or NVC, we recognize that certain language we use dehumanizes other people, or disconnects or dissociates us from those people. By using NVC, we seek to stay connected to the beautiful life-energy within us and other people.

NVC is both a spiritual practice that helps us see our common humanity, and a concrete set of skills which help us to live more peacefully. These skills apply to thought, language, and a commitment to "power with," rather than "power over/under." NVC is a learnable process for creating emotional freedom, self-acceptance, inner peace, and fulfilling relationships. It involves expressing ourselves honestly, listening with empathy, and developing a more compassionate inner relationship. People around the world are using NVC skills to transform conflict, create harmony in their relationships, and build a world where everyone's needs are met through natural giving and receiving, and without the use of coercion or violence.

NVC was created by clinical psychologist and international peacemaker Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, whose work is now supported and promoted by the global Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC).

NVC helps people to:

* speak in a way that inspires compassion and understanding
* initiate difficult conversations with more ease and confidence
* remain centered and peaceful while hearing difficult messages
* express anger fully, safely and respectfully - yet powerfully
* shift patterns of thinking that lead to depression, guilt, shame
* enliven yourself by expressing and receiving gratitude
* translate criticism, judgments and blame into life-serving messages
* resolve long-standing conflicts and heal painful relationships
* inspire others to change their behavior willingly.

NVC guides us to reframe how we express ourselves, how we hear others and resolve conflicts by focusing our consciousness on what we are observing, feeling, needing, and requesting.

NVC Workshops provide the opportunity to learn the process, and to learn practical tools which help to apply and integrate the consciousness into your life. Learning and practicing NVC in workshops often meets my needs for inspiration, learning, personal growth, as well as community, support, and play.