Belonging and Relational Structure

In my studies with Thomas Huebl, I am learning about space, energy and structure.  I've studied these qualities through other lenses such as Yoga in the Himalayan tradition and the work of the Hendricks, and always find it interesting to bring in new perspectives.  

Space correlates with being-ness, the root chakra, and the right and space to be here in life. It also connects us with stillness, consciousness and the capacity to witness.  Energy correlates with becoming, learning and evolving, movement up the spine, and movement generally.  There are many aspects of structure such as things that make up the material world and most intimately, our physical body, which is a complex, evolutionary structure.  Structure correlates with the manifestation of life into form, with the horizontal field of connecting with others, and our belonging in life.    

In this post, I want to focus on the structure of belonging, which is the aspect of our relational networks and the ways we are connected with other people, animals, our environment, our planet, and the systems that are part of our lives today.  Examples of systems include governments, voting processes, medical care, money and banking systems, etc. So often when we think of these larger structures which began long before we were born, we feel disconnected from them and see them as something other than ourselves which we cannot impact.  From an energetic point of view, these structures are actually part of us, and we are part of them.  We are always contributing something to the structures of our lives, and they are contributing something to our lives.  (Part of the study of systemic oppression is how the systems we live in impact different groups of people differently, as well as the history and purpose of such differences.)  When we believe we are disconnected, nonessential or helpless related to our relational structures and systems, what we contribute is our absence.  

Absence is a symptom of trauma, and we all carry some trauma.  In other words, we all carry many or fewer symptoms of separation or absence within and around us.  This is not bad, per se, as absence serves a function.  When we or our ancestors were unable to face and deal with something in an integrated way, separation occurred.  When it was too much to process, the human nervous system wisely numbed what was overwhelming and could put our survival or functioning at risk.  Today we can call this absence (or trauma).  

Turning toward our own absence related to the structures around us is the first step toward healing and restoration. What we can (begin to) witness can begin to move, heal, and gradually be reconnected into wholeness.  

Even when we cannot see the results of our participation with the systems around us, our contribution always matters regardless of how small or insignificant it may seem.  Since we are in effect an individual manifestation of life, nature, and of the divine, it is up to us to discover what is our appropriate relation, participation and contribution to the structures in and around us.   

When we discover and enact our unique participation with our relational structures and systems, we contribute to healing our belonging.  Since each being alive in this moment belongs to life, restoring our belonging through right relationship ripples out and contributes to restoring belonging for all of us.  I believe our individual movements to participate and restore right relation with our structures and systems is fundamentally our purpose, each in our own unique way.  

May this year be a year when we all fine-tune our presence so that our unique participation contributes a healing, restorative flow into the structures in our beautiful world. 

Bridging Past to Future: Facing Racism and Reconnecting with our Hearts

One of the callings of our times is to become a bridge between our past and the future we want.  We become a bridge by cultivating an ongoing connection with what is even as we align our actions with what wants to be born through us.    

Photo by Martin Damboldt from Pexels

Facing 'what is' includes facing how 'what was' still radiates through our current experience.  Unfinished, unprocessed experience is sometimes called karma.  Another name for it is trauma.  Trauma exists in individuals, in families, in the collective, and in the systems of our society.  

One collective trauma that I am facing into every day is racism.  

Racism isn't just a word.  It's a code (as all words are) which carries the energetic legacy of trauma which is woven into the very foundations of our systems for hundreds of years.* 

I've been actively learning about whiteness for only about a year, and I'm not an expert.  Writing about my current perception of whiteness and racism (even as I'm still learning) is part of my response to the collective trauma of whiteness, or what the author, Resmaa Menakem calls white body supremacy.  

One of the things that keeps racism going is for people who are systemically in the oppressor role (that's me, with skin known in our world today as white) to not see, feel or take action related to the dehumanizing violence that was perpetrated and became embedded in our systems and the world around us. We told cultural stories that racial violence was over or mostly over, but it isn't.    

I'm turning towards it every day.  

Lifting a veil of unconsciousness and facing systemic oppression and violence is painful. The seduction of continuing to not know, not feel, and not respond to the cultural domination system we were born into is strong.  We are all woven into racist systems and for many of us, our participation and enabling remains unconscious.  Even as we wake up to face, the tendency for us to become overwhelmed, shut down, or otherwise disconnect is powerful.  

My experience is becoming conscious of the water we are swimming in is an ongoing process.  We may see it but not feel it.  Face part of it but not all of it.  Bame others.  Feel but remain unable to respond and take action.  Get overwhelmed.  And so on.      

When abuse of power is occurring, it's healthy to see, feel, and respond to what's actually happening.  Even though facing it is painful and often confusing, the waking up process reconnects us to our natural grounding, to the beauty of our own hearts, and to the natural resources of life.  We re- align with our inner compass, and with the best of our humanity.  We become both the bridge to what is possible, as well as the people who walk over the bridge into an equitable future, one step at a time.  

*"400 Years of Inequality is a diverse coalition of organizations and individuals calling on everyone - families, friends, communities, institutions - to plan their own solemn observance of 1619, learn about their own stories and local places, and organize for a more just and equal future." They are "dedicated to dismantling structural inequality and building strong, healthy communities."  - 400 Years of Inequality website 

  

Reactivity - a meaningful portal to change

One of my activities in 2019 was taking a class organized by the St. Louis YWCA based on the book Witnessing Whiteness, by Shelly Tochluk.  We were a group of 20 white people exploring together the history of whiteness, how and why it began, the unearned privilege that goes along with it, and a beginning discovery of what’s next.  The experience clarified my understanding of myself and the world I live in, and also deepened my understanding of the origins and structure of systemic power abuses, which do not occur accidentally.

To dismantle structural systems of power abuse and domination, I believe that in addition to actions we take in the world, we need to turn toward the places within ourselves where we’ve internalized those systems. In other words, we need to turn towards the personal and collective trauma which resides within each of us: the places where we react instead of respond.  We need to bring our presence and curiosity to the  places in our bodies and nervous systems where a part of us remains stuck or frozen, which, when unconscious, lead to us either unconsciously acting out of power abuse or enabling it to continue to us or around us.

Practice begins with a willingness to be curious and turn towards our own reactivity: to notice when we’re afraid and lashing out in contempt, running away, defending, freezing inside, avoiding or stonewalling.  The first step of noticing our reactivity is easier than it may seem:

In what interactions does your heart pound? Your pulse rate begin to rise or significantly slow? When do you notice yourself planning your response instead of listening? Closing down to possibilities? Endlessly replaying mentally what you wish had been your response? Or fantasizing about another reality? These are some (not all) signifiers of reactivity, which is a wake-up call to embodied presence.  

One of the ways the roots of our reactivity stay hidden from awareness is thinking something like, “In this instance my reactivity is justified because the problem is in the other (person, gender, group, etc.)”   There may be a need to focus on the other, and we may indeed need to take external actions.

However, since abandoning our own inner process doesn’t lead to anything new, innovative, connecting, or healing, we also need to turn within.

Practicing open, curious mind; compassionate heart; and grounded actions / willingness aligns our minds, hearts and bodies, empowers us, and orients us with shared power.  Regular practice makes it easier to notice a drift, so we can cultivate curiosity and turn toward what is happening within us instead.  It’s important to remind ourselves that reactivity and shutting down is part of a coping system:  actually it’s most likely a protection that was beneficial at an earlier stage of development.  One of my teachers, Thomas Huebl, calls these behaviors “childhood heroes.”  I like that because it reminds me that the path is to turn towards what is happening within me not with blame or harshness for my reactivity, but with compassion and curiosity to  enable learning and another possibility to emerge.  This moves me into facing, discovery, relating and responding (relationship and response-ability) which is the ground of dismantling systems of oppression and moving into empowerment and shared power instead.  One step at a time!

As we complete 2019 and move into 2020 - a new day, year and decade, my intention for myself and wish for all of us is turning towards our reactivity with curiosity and compassion to discovery new possibilities that honor the life flowing through each us, and honor our interconnection with all beings. 

Blessings to you and Happy New Year!

Rhonda

P.S.  Join me for my Embodied Integrity Playshop Series - 3 months beginning January 17.  

Details here.