Do you know that experience of feeling crowded on the inside? Too much stuff going on.... inside, around you.... And, at the same time a strong urge to keep going, keep moving, do this, do that, do more.
Today my choice is to stop.
Notice my breath, and the feeling of my body sitting on the couch, one foot curled under, and one hanging down toward the floor. Learning back. The sun is shining through the windows, My houseplants seem to be drinking it in, and the shrub outside is moving gently in the breeze. The heater just kicked on. An airplane is flying by. Two cars just drove down the street alongside my home.
I admire the pretty colors of the room around me.
Settle. With a hand over my heart, I feel my heartbeat. My exhalation is lengthening. My jaw just relaxed a bit and my shoulders just dropped down and back.
Turning toward inner movements, I can feel my body sensations. My emotions seem to be slowing down and spreading out, a gentle tingling, flowing movement throughout my inner body. Thoughts seem to be relaxing down and in like my body resting in a hammock.
And now what?
Still feeling my inner body, and also seeing the room around me. Eyes sometimes closing, sometimes opening. Breathing.
I'm becoming aware of spaciousness around and through me.
And something else.
A tinge of heaviness in and through the space. I'm tired. It's like looking through a heavy blanket. Clear, but heavy.
I notice spaciousness again. The heavy inner blanket thing is dissolving.
I feel a light something, which I'll call clarity, and has a kind of a sparkle to it.
A sense of an anchor, a magnetic sensation, connecting the base of my body down toward the center of the earth. Simultaneously, an opening, tingly funnel sensation upward, above the crown of my head.
I'll rest here a while.
Now a dullness, emerging around and through my lower body. hmmmmmm
Eventual dissolution and awareness of that central magnetic channel.
Turning toward vastness, opening into the infinite.
hmmmmmmm, What is calling me? What wants my attention?
Fire. I had an image of fire, and the thought of the fires in Australia.
Now grief, a heavy heart.
Welcome, welcome. I will host this experience too, as best I can, as I do whatever comes into my awareness when I'm meditating...
My jaw is tightening.
I feel angry.
I'm noticing that central channel, a a sense of spaciousness.
Now, to close, time for gratitude.
Thank you breath.
Thank you body.
Thank you emotions.
Thank you mind.
Thank you essence.
Thank you spirit.
Thank you awareness.
Thank you understanding.
Thank you compassion.
Thank you what I don't understand.
Thank you mystery.
Thank you now.
Thank you past.
Thank you future.
Thank you life.
Thank you beauty.
Thank you joy.
Thank you reader.
I appreciate you sharing my meditation with me today.